Where You go I will go....

Barbie came to the dump site!

2012-03-01T03:52:00.003+08:00

Walking in the swelltering heat doing house visits on the dump site we heard a mans voice shout from behind...
"Hey, she looks like Barbie!"
The comment was directed to a very special volunteer that I'll try my best to tell you a wee bit about. :)

Barbie AKA Maureen, a 70 year old with the energy of a 17 year old came to volunteer with us 3 years ago. On her first visit she stayed for 6 months. She returned the following year for another 6 months.Then in 2011 she felt a pull in her spirit to do it again. She gave another year of her life to the work and left Manila yesterday.

Maureen came simply with a huge heart to serve. She had a willing spirit just to do whatever was needed- whenever. Throughout her time Maureen got involved in a bit of everything. Here's some of what she got up to.( I'm sure I'll forget loads)

-Overseeing and helping train workers for our creche for 1-4 year old (brave lady- its nuts in there!)
-Helping out at the feeding program serving thousands of meals, cleaning little plates, holding little hands and bringing big smiles to children who often don't have much to cheer them up.
-Running the drama group
-Supporting at bible studies, prayer meetings and visitations
-Assisting at youth camps and field trips
-Leading art activities at kids clubs and drop in centre
-Doing a host of unglamouros but vital jobs such as cleaning infested stockrooms, sorting donations, making paper decortaions, taking pictures for sponsors... and more cleaning!

I almost forgot dancing in front of a few hundred Filipinos at community concerts!

I could gibber on but you get the idea. She came to love and help out wherever we needed her to! She came to build relationships and really care. It was such a blessing to have an extra pair of hands and a listening ear around. She added to the team with her experience, creative ideas and Scottish banter!

I know Maureen won't mind me mentioning the fact that she was a little accident prone during her stay! There are a few incidents that come to mind but this is number one on the charts!
She is the first volunteer to end up tumbling into a man hole thingy at the dump site resulting in her being covered in mud, squidge and whatever else was down there!. The ladies in Tondo thought they would help her out by hosing her down-with her clothes still on! Did Maureen complain being absolutly soaked by the locals?Not at all! She giggled all the day long!

There is loads more I could write about how fab Maureen is, but I'm doing this while our bouncing baba is napping so it has to be a little on the rushed side.

Maureen, our team, children, youth and mummy's in Tondo and Navotas love you and will really miss having you around. You are an amazing example of dropping everything to go on an unknown journey, stepping out in faith with Jesus and heeding the call to go and serve. I hope I have the same zeal and compassion that you have when I'm your age. (I know you don't mind me mentioning how many years young you are!) I pray I would have the same teachable spirit,always willing to learn and ever aware of depending on the Saviour- as you are.

Thank you for being a great friend.

To anyone thinking about volunteering or going on short term mission-NEVER think you are too old! Don't be like so many and say "Oh I would love to do something like that". Take Maureens example... go and do it! If it's a desire in your heart, take a step of faith and let God work out the rest!

I don't want to be a clanging cymbal.

2012-01-26T22:16:00.002+08:00

Show me how to really love

In a way that's strong and pure,

A selfless love that bears all

A love that's strong and sure.

Teach me Lord a patient love

A love that suffers long,

Is pleased to wait for the sake of others

A love that brings a song.

A love suppressing envy

And is forever kind,

Expressed in action, not just words

I long this love to find.

In heart never self seeking

But desires just to give,

Never proud or quick to boast

I pray this love to live

A love not easily angered

Is tolerant and forbears,

Keeps no records of others wrongs

Forgiveness willingly declares.

It does not delight in evil

But rejoices in the truth,

Is honorable, just and gracious

This love I want to prove.

Inspired by 1 Corinthians 13

A place I cannot go...

2012-01-05T07:51:00.003+08:00

2 weeks old in this pic

I am sitting watching our beautiful 4 month old baby boy sleep. Now and again he furrows his little brow.

I wonder what he's thinking?

His perfectly plump handsome face lights up even though his eyelids are closed- he smiles.

I wonder what he finds funny at this moment?

Sometimes a giggle. Sometimes a moan. I so want to know what he's dreaming of. What picture is he seeing in the land of Nod?

I realise I cannot really know, only guess. If I could just follow where he goes in his sleep. Turns out that even though I'm with him 24 hours a day I cant really know absolutely everything about him after all. The one place I cannot physically be is in his dreams. Gosh! But I thought it was my job to be with him and protect him from everything?! Turns out- I cant.

Even before his birth I gave him to Jesus. Our children don't really belong to us. I'm learning they are a precious precious gift from God, whilst remaining completely HIS. What a mind blowing thought! God formed our too cute for words boy and gave Him to me and hubby to watch over. We are stewards of the most beautiful gift I have ever held. Totally beyond any value this world has to offer.

Josiah is designed by the master designer exactly the way He wanted Him- WOW! The parent of all parents has entrusted us with this bundle of fun- AMAZING.He can watch over my son when I can't- even in dream land!

Father God sings melodies unheard of on earth over him....selah... pause..... how amazing is that??!!!

Arise generation no longer forsaken..

2011-08-16T23:45:00.002+08:00

It can be heart breaking to watch young people we work with make really awful choices at times. Poverty can push the mind to the edge and cause a person to do desperate things.
It can be discouraging sometimes when you pour your time into a young man or woman and then watch as they make a decision that will change their life forever.

I heard a quote at a worship conference a few weeks ago that I haven't been able to get out of my mind;

"It's our job to do the hard work. It's God's job to do the HEART WORK"

So true.

Only God can change a heart. Only He can change a life. I've seen Him do it time and time again. Even if we had the best youth workers, the best ministry or program, the best of everything- Only God can change a heart. Only He can penetrate the inner most thoughts and emotions.Only He turn a terrible situation into something good.

Only He can turn disaster to destiny.

Our job? To be faithful in doing the hard work. To keep praying,being there and loving the ones that have messed up. I thank God for true friends that stuck by me and prayed me through during times when I fell. I hope I would be that person for others. I pray for a mouth that speaks life over the most hopeless of situations. For eyes that would see potential in people. To see past the mess and envisage the majesty of Christ that could be displayed through them. For determination to stand strong in the battle against the enemy who comes about like a roaring lion trying to steal, kill and destroy lives. My Jesus came so that they could have life and have it more abundantly!

"Arise generation, no longer forsaken- arise- arise- arise" (from a song by Jon Owens)
I sings it as a declaration over youth at both sides of the world tonight!

You know you live in the Philippines when... (bit of a random blog)

2011-08-11T23:08:00.000+08:00

Since our baby boy is due day I am in the house more this week I have found time to write a bit of a random blog!

You know you're in the Philippines when;

you see a sign above the sink in a public toilet saying "please do not wash your dishes here!"

you go into a public toilet and no one flushes their used paper, but instead it's gathered in a pile at the side bin
you see signs in public toilets saying "kindly please do not stand on the seat"
you can't get a space to wash your hands because there is a row of pretty Filipina girls all brushing their teeth

if you have the mumps you are advised to put blue food colouring on your face
if you have a "sugat" (a cut/wound)and told its not good to eat chicken, fish or beef but pork is ok
advised that certain positions in child birth are "just for foreigners"
you are told that some babies come out born " inside the plastic bag" (amniotic sack!)
the doctor sets her phone on vibrate to "tickle the baby" and then charges you a very expensive medical fee!

yes could sometimes mean... yes, no or maybe
beginning an activity or meeting some one at 1pm could mean 1.30pm, 2pm or 3pm!
road markings, sign posts or any kind of law are "just a suggestion"
you see signs such as "lady bed spacer wanted" or "roadworks in full swing"
when you go into a store and you are warmly welcomed with a smile
you go into a store to look for a simple moisturiser and all you can find are whitening creams
you can buy everything in miniature size- everything from toothpaste to soya sauce

You know you've lived in the Philippines for some time when;

you point with your lips and answer with your eyebrows
mix up the letters P and F and V and B
you don't hear something properly and your first expression is "ha?!"
you don't feel you ate a proper meal unless it included rice
when there's ants or other wee bugs in your cereal or jams and you eat it anyway
eating out you draw a rectangle in the air and raise your eyebrows to indicate you are ready for the bill
you change your accent depending on who you are talking to
you always leave your shoes at the door before entering someones home (or your own)
you think its normal to hear Christmas songs playing in the mall in September- think its normal to eat spaghetti with hot dogs at birthdays, christmas or any other celebration- when you think its normal to sing karaoke at anytime!
when you sometimes think in Tagalog, feel like you blend in and wonder why people point and say "look, she is white"!

Just have to say I love the people in this country. I love the quirks in the culture (most of the time!) It's home :)

A baby left in the trash

2011-07-09T22:25:00.001+08:00

A new born baby was found dead in a heap of trash in the community where our ministry base is in Tondo. The tiny body discarded and thrown in the middle of a pile of garbage only a few buildings away from ours. Some of the women in the community told us today no one knows the circumstances surrounding this tragedy, or at least no one is telling....

Could he have been stillborn and the family unable to afford a place of burial?

-That's common. Some of the children have shared with tear stained faces how their parents had no money to pay for a place for their younger siblings to be laid and so they made a humble coffin from food cartons.

Maybe it was a teenager who was terrified of her family knowing she was pregnant?

-For every young girl that gives birth there are more who abort their babies. The women speak quite openly of "home remedies" they concoct that are intended to kill the baby growing inside of them.

Could not afford to feed another child?

-There have been many abandoned babies and even older children left around the dump site area. Some women have been caught trying to sell their babies or give them away. Some of them feel a love for their baby and would choose to keep them. But like several mothers we know who already have between 9-16 children and in spite of their efforts struggle to provide, the thought of another mouth to feed drives them to the brink.

Whatever the reason was it's just devastating. Is life so cheap that a precious gift of God could simply be valued as the same worth as rotten decaying trash? My heart cries out for justice and mercy. Lord.. heal this land. You are the only hope.

This situation and others like it show how much has still to be done in the community. The people need Jesus... the restoring, healing, unfailing love and mercy of Jesus. In our minds it's tempting to become overwhelmed and easily conclude the problems are too big, the need is too much, its pointless and hopeless...

BUT GOD.

It's says in the word that there is a bowl full of the prayers of the saints (Revelation 5:8) . A bowl full and becoming fuller with the prayers of the people of God. Oh that God would pour out that bowl and release the answered prayers for this community and others like it. I am challenged. I should be before God day and night crying out in prayer for the people. Oh to have a heart that would not relent in seeking God for change.

Lord... heal this land.

Now HOPE does not disappoint...

2011-06-24T11:02:00.003+08:00

"Now hope does not disappoint..." Romans 5:5

This jumped out the pages at me this morning. If we could give or do nothing else for poverty stricken communities it would still be so worth bringing them hope. If every ministry/charity suddenly ran out of all finances and could not continue any kind of programs, it would still be worth going to the people and reflecting hope. Hope should be at the core of everything we do.

Hope changes a heart. It gives life to dead eyes. It energizes a person to live another moment. Hope reveals a way out , gives a purpose and urges us not to give up.

Hope gently whispers... hang on for one more minute.

If a person sees even a glimmer of the true hope that God gives, they will take another breath, take another step and find the strength to go on.

If hope is rooted deep within us, it cannot be stolen by anything or anyone. People can disappoint. Organisations can disappoint. Circumstances can disappoint. HOPE does not disappoint-I'm thankful for hope!

Accidently on purpose

2011-06-14T23:24:00.000+08:00

Just thinking about how I want to live a life with purpose. I hope when I'm elderly I don't look back and remember the "good old days". I hope by Gods grace I would be living a life with meaning.It's amazing and totally humbling that God would give us a purpose much greater than ourselves. True fulfilment is living in His purpose- in His will. How beautiful that when God places a purpose in our hearts, it becomes our own. He plants His desires in our hearts, making them our desires too.

Sometimes the life we have mapped out for ourselves is so small compared to what the Lord has in store for us. We have our own ideas at times, but when we grasp a God dream everything changes.........Everything.

I can think back to times in my life when I had one plan and God had another and His have always been far superior and more wonderful. Such grace. When Ron and I came to the Philippines in 2007 we had a plan to stay for a few months and then go back to live in Scotland. We have quite often used the term "accidental missionary's"to describe ourselves. There was no strategy to start any kind of ministry or any kind of organisation. No thought at all in fact. But God had another plan. He had a purpose. So really we are "accidentally on purpose missionary's".How humbling is that! Who knows how many more years we will be here or what the future holds, but as the old song says "I know who holds the future and I know who holds me hand". I'm so glad I know my saviour holds our future in His unshakable, irremovable, loving hand.

I pray by Gods grace whatever the path holds,whatever he asks us to do or wherever He asks us to go we will obey with purpose. I was thinking if everything changed somehow what an awesome honour it's been to work with the families in the squatter communities. I'm grateful that throughout my life God has guided my steps. I can honestly say I have never worked in a place that just felt like a job.There's always been a sense of purpose. I'm so thankful for that.God has been so good. Everywhere He has opened doors I have loved working. What a lovely daddy I have! How precious that even in the seasons where its tough that God has a purpose in the hardships. He can take a time of brokenness and weave it into something beautiful. His purpose is always for our good.

God has a purpose for you today and everyday of your life.

"To everything there is a season, A time for every purpose under heaven" Ecclesiastes 3:1

100 Filipinos

2011-05-16T23:47:00.010+08:00

Our hearts were so encouraged this weekend when around 100 Filipino volunteers from Victory Christian Fellowship came to do a fun day with 350 of our children and young people. They organised workshops in dance, crafts, music and storytelling as well as helping with feeding and medical.

What encouraged us so much was that in 3 and a half years this was the very first group of Filipino Christians to offer practical help. We were blessed as we watched that they were willing to get down in the dirt and grime alongside the team to show love and care for their fellow Pinoys.

We are very thankful to have many wonderful volunteers come on short term mission from various country's around the world. I need to mention too that over the years we have had a few Filipino volunteers who faithfully gave of their time to help, but almost all of them were *OFWs or were born abroad. That's why Saturday was such a significant day. The 100 volunteers are all living in the Philippines! I believe it brought hope and broke a stronghold. You see many of the families living in the waste picking community feel as though they have been forgotten about by their own country. It's not that they want a hand out. They don't think it's other Filipinos responsibility to look after them. The majority are very hard working and want more than anything to support themselves. That's why they work all hours of the day to earn about P100 (68p) just to feed their family. They are however aware of the stigma that is attached with Tondo and sense they are looked on at times as the outcasts of the city. But on Saturday these people saw the love of Jesus reflected in the dark eyes of their own people.

I appreciate my husbands heart more than ever. Since we came in 2007 he has been willing to labour with this community. He served them when no one else would. I hope this comes across right and doesn't sound proud. I know 100% that its only by the grace of God that we have been called to that place. What I mean is, he has stayed through the most challanging times with these people when others gave up. He stayed and lead when it would have been totally understandable to leave.He stayed because of Christ. He stayed because he had compassion on his own people.

We have made many mistakes along the way and are still learning. But the Lord has been so lovely guiding us one day at a time. It's not about us or about anyone else who works there, but it's about Gods purpose prevailing in that place. He loves the people with an uquenchable fiery love. He loves justice.We know this because we see the way He has continued to do miracles of provision so the ministry could continue there.

Its hard, It's humbling. but it's an honour.

I pray for a heart that would be willing to labour in love in that place until God directs our paths to something else. I'm excited that possibly for the first time other Filipinos looked past the filth and the trash and saw the beauty in Tondo. Only Jesus could take trash and turn it into treasure. He makes beautiful things out of dust- beauty out of ashes.

"To give them beauty for ashes,
the oil of joy for mourning,
the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness,
that they may be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the Lord

that He may be glorified.

And they shall rebuild the old ruins,

They shall raise up the former desolation's and they shall repair the ruined cities, the desolation's of many generations" Isaiah 61:3,4

*Overseas Filipino Workers

Loving 'till it hurts

2011-05-15T23:47:00.003+08:00

I have been discovering that if you are working full time in communities of extreme poverty you have to be willing to learn one hard lesson. Ready for it?

You have to love 'till it hurts! (Sometimes it really hurts!)

You have to open your heart, give it away to people at the risk of it getting broken to pieces. You have to be willing to give and give and expect nothing in return from the people you are trying to help.You have to make a decision to love, love more and keep loving. It's easy to "talk sacrifice" or sing something like "I surrender all" but sometimes honestly it's very hard to do! The truth is sacrifice hurts.It's not meant to be easy otherwise it wouldn't be called sacrifice.

But this is also truth- the more I discover the pains and burdens of mission work, the more I know the beautiful loving kindness of my Lord. God is the strength of my heart.

If you are in ministry today and feel the heaviness of loving 'till it hurts- throw your self upon your Abba Daddy. To everything there is a season. Sometimes it's the season of overwhelming joy watching change in broken people, sometimes you will see the fruit of your labour and sometimes you won't and all you feel you get in return are problems,but don't lose heart. HE is so faithful. I love that He is the same yesterday, today and forever.

At the end of the day how could I even talk of sacrifice after everything Jesus went through for me? The burdens of ministry are nothing compared to what my Jesus endured. He removed the option to quit. He did not give up. Oh to have a heart that would remain faithful until the very end. To be determined to commit to the call and say I will not look back. I pray by grace I will keep my eyes on Jesus, run my course and finish my race no matter what the cost.

".. let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith...
For consider Him who endured such hostility from sinners against Himself, lest you become weary and discouraged in your soul" Heb 12:2-3

Doing and dwelling

2011-04-18T22:13:00.009+08:00

Since being pregnant with our son Josiah I've been having to stay away from the dump site a bit more because of the risk factors involved. It has taken quite a bit of adjusting as Ron continues to be there most days while I have more time at home.I miss him and I miss the children. Don't get me wrong, there is still plenty of work to be done, but the admin side is just not as fulfilling as being on the field and working side by side with my husband. I know in my heart it's important as well and I'm learning that the behind the scenes work is of value too.A few years ago I would have really super struggled with having so much downtime and not being hands on everyday.I thrived on always being busy,achieving, always doing.I actually used to feel quite guilty unless I was working. I think it's to do with identity somehow. At times my identity used to be wrapped up in what I could accomplish instead of who I am in Christ.

Now I can honestly say I love having more uninterrupted time to just be with the Lord. I love having more time to spend dwelling in the secret place with Him. Over the years the Lord has pressed upon my heart more and more the importance of dwelling before doing.

In mission work its so easy to slip into a mindset where we justify constantly doing- always being busy. There are always needs. There are always hurting people to help or hungry children to feed or some other thing that we just have to do. It would be easy to go months without a single day off or time away from ministry.We used to do this and it's not wise- you burn out fast.
We can try and justify that being busy all the time is okay because after all its all for God right?? But I personally have learned there needs to be balance. God wants us to love Him first and then love and serve others. Anyway, I cant give love away without first being filled up with Gods love and I need a re-filling everyday.

The truth is God wants ME. Continual relationship. Ceaseless intimacy. Constant abiding.He wants me before He wants the things that I do for Him. Being with God- pursuing His heart is above all- above all the work and busyness- Just dwelling with Him, leaning close to hear His heart is more precious and more vital than any other thing. It's the first thing. Only then will I be sufficiently equip to serve others.

Jesus is pursuing you. Seeking you. Desiring you. Loving you. Running after you. Singing and dancing over you. Totally passionate about you.
He wants you before He wants what you do.

The secret?

The secret is the secret place.

Working for God is second to being with God.

It's just you and me Lord
I shut the door- I enter in
Here to love and to be loved
In the secret place

"When you pray, go into your room, and when you have shut the door, pray to your Father who is in the secret place..." Matthew 6:24

http://youtu.be/NI_1YliutzA

Speak Life

2011-04-09T10:50:00.078+08:00

Say that again -where did you say you were based? Did you say Tondo??!!

Tondo!! That's where all the murderers live!
Tondo is where all the bad people are!
Tondo is where the gangs hide out
Tondo is the most dangerous place in Manila
Tondo is dirty and people are all poor
There are many criminals there
Tondo people are the outcasts of the nation
If we go there we might get killed

Above are just a few of the things said to us on a regular basis when people find out we work in Tondo. The comments usually come from Filipinos. People from all walks of life have made really negative comments to us about Tondo from doctors to pedicab drivers. When our car breaks down we always dread getting a taxi to try and take us. They just won't go there. One morning 6 taxi drivers in a row threw us out and absolutely refused to take us!

There is a certain fear that comes with hearing the word Tondo. For decades it's been know for all of the above things. I was hopeful that if I entered "Tondo" on the Internet the description would be a bit brighter. Sadly not. Almost all the pictures and info that are presented are depressing.Here is what the encyclopedia has to say about it;

"One of the most densely populated areas of land in the world.Tondo is notorious for being the poorest yet most underdeveloped district of the country. Many of the city's slums are found in this area"

Doesn't exactly paint a pretty picture.

Some of the negative things said are true. There are murderers and gangs that hide out there. It defiantly can be a really dangerous place to be. We have seen and heard horrendous things happen. It's a place with extreme poverty.....

BUT the following are also facts about Tondo....

There are many hard working families in Tondo
There are young people striving with everything in them to graduate from school
There are children and teenagers there who are really talented and creative
There are community leaders who are trying their best to make things better
There are children, youth and adults who love Jesus with all their hearts
There are people who rise above their difficult circumstances to bring true worship
There is youth that have become leaders and amazing role models to the children
There are women who pour out compassion to those in their own community
There is a generation rising up who believe things can be and will be better
Some of the most beautiful people I have ever met live there.

There is HOPE in Tondo

I wonder what would happen if the nation of the Philippines began speaking life over Tondo instead of death? I wonder if part of the reason that Tondo has remained one of the most feared places in the Philippines is because people have declared it to be that way? I wonder what would happen if the nation began speaking out how Tondo could be?

A long time ago people made really negative comments about another place. They were so sceptical that anything or anyone good could ever come from such a despised town;

"Can anything good come out of Nazareth?" John 1:46

How wrong were those people!! Jesus came from such a town and changed the world forever!

So I ask-can anything good come from Tondo?

Without a doubt... YES!

Let's start speaking about the changes that are happening, no matter how small we may think they are. Let Tondo no longer be called outcast but instead a place where the light will shine.
Let's believe that the generation that's rising up will do amazing things in the country and beyond. Let's believe that the sparks of change that have already happened will burst into a blazing fire and that with Gods help greater things are yet to come- greater things are still to be done in this city.

Manila. Philippines. Let's speak life over Tondo!

"Death and life are in the power of the tongue.." Proverbs 18:21

http://youtu.be/OZem6LFFeYU

A sigh and a song

2011-04-06T22:53:00.007+08:00

With this work comes much joy and at times much sorrow. This week we have been working with 3 sisters who have suffered terribly severe abuse. The burden I already carried in my heart for them has just increased and feels like a led weight. I was watching their behaviour this week and wept. I tried to explain to someone that i believe God gives us these tears to carry for the children sometimes.

Jesus feels. He feels their hurts and allows us to feel too so that we are moved to compassion and compelled to move.

These girls are only 9 ,7 and 3 and have had to endure starvation as their father squanders money on drugs. Their young hearts have been forced to break and re-break as they watch their mother get beaten and told it's their fault -the very child in her womb fighting daily for survival. A younger sibling already died at the cruel hand of neglect.Her sisters watched as she was poisoned,their emotions pressed down as they grieved in silence. These 3 precious girls have been subjected to horrors upon horrors at all levels of abuse. I would not begin to share them here.

I'm so thankful for HOPE. That Jesus can take a broken life and make it something beautiful. He really can. He's the only one who really can.

The girls are under the care of our team 24 hours a day now and living with our staff.
Pray for them. Pray for us as we help them.
If you are compelled to help in a practical way, we are still in need of sponsors for their food; P100 a day for them -£1.40
If you can help with even part of this it would be a real help at this time.

There are times when all we can do is pray. I was reminded of a song I wrote years ago when I was a student in a school where out of 29 children 22 were being abused in some way. Prayer is precious gift to us - it reaches the heart of the feeling Jesus..

Send them an angel
1
This child is suffering. In his eyes so much hurt
Stories untold and secrets kept deep inside
He looks so lost right now like he has wandered out of reach
But in his heart he's crying out "has everyone given up on teaching me?"

chorus
Send him an angel to guard him in the night
Jesus draw near to him in the morning light
I pray, give him a strength through the day that he does not quite understand
Stay close. Keep him safe in Your hands

2
This child is suffering. She has a beauty that's unseen
To some she's just a no-one and she never will be
But she is precious. She is much deeper than she seems
She asked me this question-"Am I still a princess"
I said yes.

chorus
Send her an angel.....

3.
This child is suffering. Now he carries many scars
To most he's just trouble and he'll never make it far
But under the surface he has so much more to give
He reaches out longing to feel more than pain
His hands are reaching out for just one touch of love again

chorus
Send him an angel....

"Arise cry out in the night, at the beginning of the watches;
Pour out your heart like water before the face of the Lord.
Lift up your hands toward Him for the lives of your young children, who faint from hunger at the head of every street"
(Lamentations 2:19)

Red flag

2011-04-06T21:09:00.010+08:00

Last year we were blessed to have a special team come to do short term mission with us. They are going round 11 countries in 11 months! They were a great help are still very much on our hearts and the hearts of our children here. Now and again I check up on their blogs to see how best to pray for them. They are currently in Uganda.

3 of the girls Amy, Kelsie and Samara posted blogs about their time in Uganda so far. They are right in the heat of a battle! A raging war that is leaving young people tormented.

They have been visiting a boarding school where the principle is deeply involved in the occult, even forcing the students to offer animal sacrifices. I know some reading this may think that's it's a load of old nonsense. Come on- demon possession is just in the movies right?
How subtlety the enemy has blinded the eyes of people to think there is no such thing. There is a very real battle going and it's not of flesh and blood, but in the spirit world.

Here is a little from one of Kelsies blogs;

When we got there we entered a high school that was being affected by witchcraft from the highest levels of authority at the school. They were making sacrifices ultimately to Satan in hopes of progress and elevation in their school. They had cast spells on cats that roamed the grounds making the cats lives tied to the childrens'. So if a cat gets hurt, so does a child. If a cat dies, so does a child. Just the night before we came they had called in witch doctors who made the students participate in animal sacrifices and all the rituals associated with them. If they refused, they were caned. They targeted the non-Christians because they knew they would be the easiest to consume. Ceremonies like that one open the doors wide for demons to come in and take possession of the students and specifically for us, young girls.

When we got to meet the girls, there were at least five who were still possessed. So we immediately started praying. I have experienced demons before and seen them manifest but this was different. There were so many. At the name of Jesus, the girls' bodies started to thrash as the demons manifested. They were getting scared. The girls' eyes would clamp shut and they would hide their faces, because demons know they cannot stand before the living God. Some of the girls took longer than others and some demons put on a bigger show but all were released and freed from the stupid, evil grips of the devil. It was amazing watching the immediate change in their countenances as soon as the demons left. They sat right up, looked all of us in the eyes and were able to start eating and drinking. They were freed. Smiles returned to faces and tears fell. Lifeless hands we'd been holding returned a grip. It was beautiful.

These attacks are real and we need to be ready! I shared with the girls a mental picture inspired by my Pastor....

Imagine holding a red flag.
Red is a symbol of a warning - the warning sign of the blood of Jesus Christ. Satan cannot stand being reminded of the blood of Jesus if proclaimed in authority. He and his demons fear and tremble at the very mention of it... and at the mention of the name of JESUS.
If you are a child of God you have been given the authority to trample Satan. God Himself crushes Satan underfoot.

I love to imagine waving that red flag... the demons scream and run! That red flag reminds our old enemy that he was and IS defeated! One proclamation of the blood of my Jesus and he quivers and shakes!

Greater is HE who is in you than he who is in the world" 1 John 4:4

Okay Joanna, so some crazy American girls told you about witnessing demon possession in Africa you say..

Sadly it's very real here in the Philippines too. Although the country is predominately catholic, many of those who come from the provinces bring witchcraft and occults practices. Even in the poorest areas like the dump site and cemetery, occult rituals are frequently carried out. There are so called "faith healers" and white witches living in both communities. I remember we were shocked to find out that almost every one of our youth had visited them in the past- almost everyone! The enemy has cleverly disguised it as being "just part of the culture". Well I know this- It's not kingdom culture! Praise God once the young people know the light of the world Jesus they can begin to walk in the light.

We have experienced more than once a young girl collapsing to the ground, cowering in a ball being tormented by demons. For an extended time she kept hitting her head off the ground until she bled. But JESUS is the Great Conqueror! The team laid hands on her and we all prayed ordering the demonic spirit to GO in the name of Jesus. We declared peace of mind in Jesus name. It's a beautiful thing to see a once contorted face overcome with peace and love.

"For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places" Ephesians 6:12

No wonder we are instructed to put on the armor of God! Never forget you are in a constant battle - don't let the enemy fool you!

Be encouraged....
We are not on the side that's winning....
We are on the side that's WON (Pastor Jack Glass)

It's not the place, it's the people

2011-03-17T21:07:00.008+08:00

"It's not the place, it's the people" - this is a term used by my good friend who runs a wonderful place that fills hundreds of peoples lives with music. The phrase came back to me on Sunday in Tondo and I found myself nodding in agreement in the middle of what some would describe as a peculiar scene!

Piping hot atmosphere, children, teens and adults filling the rooms.... and no electric! No fans, no lights, no sound system. It wasn't really a big deal, but just quite funny to be part of. A Pastor trying to preach while his power point came on and off along with an unreliable mic. A member handing out ripped up pieces of card board for the congregation to fan themselves with. Children becoming extremely hot in classrooms and as a result the behaviour was shall we say interesting! :) Cooks trying to cook and repair a generator that was noisy and kept running out of gas! Not your typical church gathering!

But, it was such a blessed day! People led into praise their Savior by one of the youth bands. The heart of worship was so present. Kids church teachers and volunteers under the age of 17 leading classes of children.Ladies preparing to serve through the feeding ministry. Hearts touched. Lives being changed in Jesus name. A group of people coming with willing hearts to minister to their God and serve others.

There were a group of children and parents from another area further away from the main dump we are based at who gave all they had just to be there. The vehicle we borrow to transport them could not be used. They sacrificed the little they had to afford public transport to get to church.

Beautiful.

Sometimes it's important not to look past the small things. The gems that come from watching people with loving hearts serve others. The blessing of being part of one big family. When Gods children gather, it's more than a "church service". It's royalty meeting to worship their Abba daddy, the King of Kings.

Yep, the people are dressed in what some would call rags. Yep, we are based on a dump site in a building that is falling to bits. But you know it's Gods princes and princesses meeting together.... and that's special.

It's SO not the place.... it's the people :)

"He raises the poor out of the dust, and lifts the needy out of the ash heap, that He may seat him with princes- with the princes of His people" Psalm 113:7

(this is one of the verses we got right at the start when we started working with the people on the dump site community... love it... love it.... love it!! :)

What is it about the M word?!

2011-03-14T23:10:00.005+08:00

What is it about the "missionary" word?

Well for me a picture of a missionary used to look something like this....

A little lady, with her white hair pulled back neatly in a bun. She loves children, is soft spoken and sleeps in a hut in some far away land, perhaps Africa.

Oh my goodness - how wrong was I?!!!

It turns our the M word basically means " an act of sending" or "to send"... So that means a missionary is someone who is sent to serve in a different country than their own right?
WRONG!

Jesus said " ...as the Father has sent Me, I also send you" (John 20:21)

and

" .. . the harvest is truly great,but the laborers are few; therefore pray the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into the harvest. Go your way, behold I send you out...." (Luke:2-3)

Wow -so if we know Jesus as our saviour we have already been sent!

The truth is every christian is called to be a missionary. Just because some are burdened to serve in a foreign country (for a time or forever) does not make them less or more important. We are told to "GO and make disciples of all nations" (disciple- follower of Jesus)

So if you faithfully GO into your little office and tell and show the good news, you are being obedient to this great commission right?
RIGHT because the christian life is all about living on a mission. For some it means leaving everything. For some it means staying right where they are already.

Sometimes missionary jargon makes people a bit uncomfortable.. it's just something about the term. Honestly I used to cringe when people asked " so what do you do?"
"I'm a m-mm-miss...volunteer!"
The reality is from the moment I came to know the Lord I was told to GO... from that instant I was SENT OUT... and SO WERE YOU!

Just in case you were like me and missed the point for a while.....
Do you know Jesus? Are you a lover of God and the people He created? Can you share the good news?
Then YOU ARE A MISSIONARY :)

My sister reminded me of a song today called "people need the Lord" Do they need Him living on a poverty stricken rubbish dump? Do they need Him living in a mansion? Do they need Him working in a factory, school, office or ____________ (fill in the blank)??
YES! YES! YES!!

There are hurting people everywhere. There are people who need the hope of our God everywhere. There are people who think they have it altogether and have a gaping hole in their heart everywhere.

As for what the actual mission can look like..... I think that's a whole other blog :)

Newly born

2011-03-07T22:21:00.051+08:00

"Bagong Silang" translated is newly born. What comes into your mind when you think of a new born? Joy.... life.... celebration....that sweet smell of a baby's head!

This precious little new born is named Angel Mae.

She was born and lives in a graveyard.

The name newly born is also the name of a cemetery. It's the name of a place where around 1000 families live . Their make shift houses are built on top of tombs or on unstable bamboo planks above the trash filled sea.

I will never forget the fist time we went there in 2008. To this day the images are engraved in my memory. As we drove over the muddy road through the gates, towered on each side above the ground were tombs packed one on top of the other. It was then I saw one of the most heartbreaking pictures of my life. To my right a skinny 3 year old girl sitting in between open tombs, surrounded by bones playing with a dead rat.

I could not and still cannot believe this is her reality.

To be honest it would be easy to become hopeless walking around Navotas Cemetery. There are layers upon layers of issues.At the same time there is a real sense of community and somehow it helps combat the feelings of despair that could creep in.
(click on the link below to watch a short video about Navotas)

http://www.vimeo.com/17426942

There is a beacon of hope there. A church lead by the most joyful man I have ever met -Pastor Dodong. He is a faithful man who loves the Lord and loves people. His beautiful wife Virgie is an intercessor full of integrity. Each one of their 6 children are special and full of compassion.

They bring joy to a community that is full of death,love to people who feel unlovely and hope to families that have nothing to live for.

They could have moved to a better place. Even after their little son died by falling through the shaky bamboo slats into the sea - they chose to stay and reach out to the people there

Sacrificial love.

Last week the local police warned them and the residents of community that the owners of the land are planning to burn down the houses.

The reason?

They have decided they want the land back and as far as I understand, by law they are not allowed to just demolish homes. However there is nothing to stop an "accidental fire".

Maybe its just an empty threat?

Last year a close by area in Navotas was burned down leaving people with nothing but the clothes on their back. This very day in fact we found out that the land owners started demolishing the area.

Now I have heard people say more than once over the last few years that its really the fault of the poor that they have nothing because they came to Manila when they had a home in the province. To say I feel angry at this comment is a bit of an understatement....

So you are telling me these thousands of people who are squatting on open dump sites and cemetery's have chosen to be there? You are saying they have left the comforts of their beautiful provinces to steal land to build shacks made of plastic bags, wood scraps and chicken wire because they wanted to? Would you want to live amongst the putrid smells of human waste and rotting bodies? Neither do they.

Its true most of the people in these communities have come from the province. Most of their story's go something like this......

They left the province because there was no work and their children were starving. They desired to give their families a better life so they came to Manila to find work. When they arrived they discovered the harsh reality that there were no jobs and so were stuck unable to afford the travel expenses back to their home. They did not want to beg so they moved to the dump site and cemetery and began trying to find ways to survive. Some pick trash- some clean graves - they work and earn what they can.

These families work hard. Every volunteer we have had come out here will testify to that. Yes earning penny's - but trying hard to provide for their families. You know what? They are still welcoming. They would still push past their problems to bring you a smile.

Those who pray-please pray for the families in Navotas Cemetery. Pray that God would convict the hearts of the men who are plotting to turn this community to ashes. Those who live in the cemetery and know Jesus as their saviour are just seeking Him and trusting Him at this time. Pray for those who are living in fear and uncertainty of whether they will have a home or not. Pray for our team who are working in the youth and kids ministry that they could help bring peace to fearful hearts.

Pray that this community would truly be newly born.... born again in Jesus Christ.

Fruit grows in trash

2011-02-24T21:49:00.007+08:00

Rotten food, rancid smelling garbage, decaying animal bodies...

How could fruit ever grow in this?!

I've seen it with my own eyes!

The locals living around the old smokey mountain dump site area have started to grow corn and other plants near the top of it. Seriously, its the strangest thing to see towers of decaying trash with corn,plants and even some little yellow floweres growing out of it!

But I've seen much more fruit come from the area...

When we "accidentally" started a ministry back in January 2008 we were what you would say totally unprepared! In many ways actually. I think that's why we know God gets all the glory,because He chose in His grace to use us to serve his beautiful people that live in the poorest of poor of conditions when we did not have a clue! Because we never planned to stay long term we didn't bring a team, plan on training a team or organise for any short term teams to join us. I remember so clearly within weeks we had a couple of hundred children coming along and still it was just Ron and I! (quite ridiculous! :)

We prayed - Lord if you want us to stay here, provide us with a team. From that day it was like our eyes were opened and we saw the potential in the people who were living in the dump site and cemetery communities.Amazing potential in the people we came to serve. At first we trained some mothers to help with the feeding programs. Then the teenagers to help in the children and youth programmes.

3 years later we have a team of 55 local people from the dump site and cemetery communities. I can't even express properly how in awe we are of their hearts. The team now includes pastors, youth leaders, kids church teachers and assistants, volunteers for children and youth programmes, music teams, feeding ministry, maintenance. Honestly its incredible what the Lord has done.

Each of them have a story of pain. Each of them has a heartache. Each of them have grown up and live in conditions unimaginable to most.

BUT

Each of them have a calling. Each of them are filled with love and compassion for their own people. Each of them have God given gifts that can be used for His glory and to serve others. Each of them have a hope and a future.

Just wanted to thank God for hearing our prayers and giving us a team - a family. My heart leaps as I think of each one of them from the youngest to the oldest. I Just wanted to honour them for their commitment and faithfulness in bringing hope to hurting people.

childrens ministry

Some random pics of our team.... please pray for them.

pastoral team

"I am the vine, you are the branches....

feeding program

he who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit...

music

...for without Me you can do nothing.

youth leaders

"By this My Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit; so you will be My disciples"

John 15: 1-8

Just when you are in your comfort zone...WALLOP!

2010-11-22T01:25:00.013+08:00

What a day!

It's funny that my comfort zone now includes the following...

walking in poo has become normal!

walking through poo most days

teaching a few hundred children at a time

eating what feels like tons of rice

loos having no such thing as a flush or toilet roll

rats,roaches and sometimes scorpions nearby

being covered in mosquito bites

flies sharing my food

smelling like garbage

I know that being accustomed to these things shouldn't really be normal, but I believe God has given the grace. (phew for that!!) In a strange way these things are kind of in the comfort zone for hubby and I now.

Today when we arrived in Tondo we were forced to go into problem solving mode before we even stepped in the door. Just about 30 mins before a couple of hundred people were about to come bursting through the gate (mostly kids under 12) we noticed the classrooms were empty. No chairs, no tables, no electric fans, no whiteboards.... not really anything actually! The lovely local women came to me in a panic saying there were almost no cooking utensils and only 50 plates and about 20 spoons. They were due to start the feeding program after kids church fo about 400!

All of the stuff had been moved to the new container school. Don't get me wrong it's a HUGE answered prayer, miracle and blessing that the new school will open soon!!We are all so excited that this building will break strongholds of poverty. It was just a bit of a shock that we had no time to prepare for much needed items suddenly vanishing! In the busyness of the move someone had forgot to communicate that literally everything would be taken from the old warehouse,where we run almost all groups and not much would be left. The original plan was that we would still be able to use old equipment and new ones would be bought for the new building. For now it doesn't look like this is happening,which leaves us with very little and on a faith journey as to how we can replace it before we leave in 2 weeks time!! eek .. i am trusting... i am trusting!!! God provides!!

plastic instead of plates

One of our feeding ministry volunteers said " Oh it seems like having a new husband!!" What she was expressing was that it was like starting all over again... and it really felt that way!

Most of our kids have no boundaries at home and over 3 years with our team its been amazing to watch them thrive by having some consistency. I don't know if this is coming across as its meant to but probably those of you have volunteered with us would understand whats this morning would have looked like. Take away all usual physical structure.... give the children clear open spaces and what would they do? To my Scottish friends " they wur loosin the heed!!" Its was total madness. Add to this 40 degree heat, no fans and very hungry tummy's and imagine!

I want to tell you how totally thankful Ron and I were for our team (who are all made up of local people living in the Tondo community) I was so proud of them as they all rallied together and just got on with things, working through the problems and finding creative solutions. From the youngest teen who volunteers with the kids ministry to the women who cooked and serve for the feeding program. I thought to myself - God you are just so good giving us these people. Although we were all exhausted, we were elated at the unity in the team. Really, they were amazing. They are full of compassion for their own community.

Today was so challenging for many reasons. We had very sick children, a woman who mis carried and others with urgent needs that we had to attend to. I came home and wept over the suffering of the of people today.Sometimes it hits you with big WHACK ! BAM! WALLOP! Honestly it can be so overwhelming when you can't help them all at one time and you so desperately want to. I'm so thankful we can throw our selves upon God. That's what I done when I got home, just lay at the feet of my Abba Father and wept. (and in my wonderful hubby's arms too)

I haven't been able to get this quote from Gracia Burnhams book To Fly Again out of my mind since I read it last week;

"God is attracted to weakness. He can't resist those who humbly and honestly admit how desperately they need Him. Our weakness, in fact, makes room for His power"

WOW! I love that! So getting thrown out your comfort zone is a good thing!

What is it about each of us that wants to appear strong? Why are we so afraid to let down our guard, drop the facade and admit our weakness? Why is it so important for others to think we are in control, confident, competent and capable? Could it be pride I wonder? Yep! Heart check for me! Here in the Philippines when you say " kumusta ka" (how are you" everyone replies with " Mabuti -yes as in Ma-BOOTY :) which means fine.

I'm fine!

The youth use a term here which I think sums it up. PLASTIC. Meaning he/she is just pretending. Don't we all do this at times though - pretend I mean. I know I do, not intentionally but I do. Sometimes it's because we don't want to let people down, make people sad,keep up appearance of being a"good leader" to the team. But you know what I have learned since starting out on this crazy journey of full time mission work...

The best kind of leader is a weak leader. Hmmmm... how so?

When I am weak HE is strong!! How much freedom we would feel is we always walked in this truth. I am free because I know that I know that I know that without HIM i can do NOTHING! HE is the strength of my life.

So though we do not have a clue about how all the equipment will be replaced, at the end of the day what matters WAY MORE is what I witnessed and felt today. There was not much stuff but there was TEAM and there was LOVE and a whole lot of LAUGHTER!

Team

white funeral

2010-11-16T23:44:00.007+08:00

I watched today as my husband and another team mate collected the trash that surrounded our friend Nhora's coffin before the funeral service began. I listened as a pastor asked some neighbours to stop gambling around the coffin. I held broken hearted children as they sobbed for their lovely mama. How desperately they want her back.

In many ways it was a sad sight but it was also a time to rejoice. I could not help being happy to think of Nhora enjoying heaven. I could not help smile as I thought of her life and the legacy of love she left behind.

In the midst of the cultural chaos I was blessed with a symbolic sight. In the middle of Ron taking the funeral I looked through teary eyes to notice that most of the people present were wearing white. How strange and significant all at the same time.

In Scotland as in other places the traditional attire to wear on such an occasion is black. I'm still not sure if white is the done colour here in the Philippines but it was a visual reminder to me of where beautiful Nhora is now.

"... and they shall walk with Me in white, for they are worthy. He who overcomes shall be clothed in white garments....." Revelation 3:4,5

How wonderful that the focus had turned to the reality that Nhora was now in the presence of her Lord Jesus. I am exited that one day we will see her again......

stairway to paradise by Thomas Kinkade

No more tears Ate Nhora......

Nhoras legacy of love

2010-11-11T00:13:00.016+08:00

If you lived in a dump site area would you;

- Have compassion for your neighbours?

-Be willing to go hungry so someone else's child could eat?

-No matter what, always wear a smile?

-Even bring a song and dance?

My friend Nhora Mariano did.

Nhoras last picture April 2010

Our friend and team mate Nhora died suddenly last week. She was 35 years old.

Truth be told I have sat down to write this blog at least 4 times now, but just sigh and close the laptop. It really doesn't feel like she's gone. Nhora was one of the first local mothers who offered to volunteer in the kids ministry.When we met her in 2008 we knew she had a huge heart and God given compassion for children in her own community. She would serve the children in whatever way was needed: helping at the feeding - washing their little plates- cleaning- wiping their tears- walking them to kids club- lavishing love on each one...

Loving on all her babies

For 3 years she faithfully lead the 1-4 years old kids church class. Sometimes she cared for 70 toddlers at a time with help from only a few local teens. The mothers who come usually just want a break from their kids and understandably as they haven't had a moment to themselves all week, but not Nhora. She called them "my children" and showed patience and love for every single one of them. They miss her. She has left her legacy of love in every one of their little hearts.

In spite of her own life being far from easy she loved to sing and dance and as soon as any kind of beat could be heard her tiny hips started to wiggle! Along with the other mothers she took part in several concert nights. I noticed Nhoras creativity the first time I taught them a dance routine. She would contribute by adding her own steps and would remember the moves when I forgot! When it was time to perform she would fill the others with confidence and light up as she gracefully danced her way around the stage. She looked so beautiful because to her it wasn't just singing and dancing -it was worship. I can see this legacy of love in her daughters. Only hours after they found out their lovely mother had died Ron and I found them singing - yes singing with tears..." here I am to worship". It was Nhoras favorite song.

church anniversary concert 2009

More than anywhere else I see so obviously Nhoras legacy of love in her four beautiful girls Antointh, Grayvie, Angel and Nene. They beam who Nhora was. Same smile. Same giggle. Same desire to help.Same love for Jesus. Same love to sing and dance and never sit still for a moment. They never got a chance to say goodbye to their precious mama. She went to the hospital to get some tests as to why parts of he body had been swelling. She never came home. It was discovered that she had developed a heart problem after her miscarriage a few months earlier. The doctors said she had water in her lungs and her heart couldn't cope anymore. Nhora wasn't afraid of death. She told her husband that, but that she had to fight to stay alive for him and her girls. For reasons that our human minds cannot comprehend, she died before the doctors even done any kind of heart test. I know Nhoras is now dancing with Jesus.

her four Angels

The day Nhora was taken "home" we had the girls stay at our house for a couple of days to allow their father organise getting her body back from the hospital. I cannot describe how heartbreaking it was to hold them as they cried and cried. Nene (the youngest) just poured out tears sobbing "mama ko mama ko" - " my mama my mama. It was as though I could feel her young heart breaking in my hands.They loved their mum so much. If ever I've seen a woman with a mothers heart, it was Nhora. We found out that the girls had no pictures of their mum so we put some together and some in a frame. We all spent time talking about Nhora -the girls would stroke her face on the picture and say "maganda"-beautiful. In each picture they said "she is not sick there" and talked about how they loved their mamas smile, what her favorite songs were and how she was so kind. The next day they came to us and asked if they could get a picture together holding their mamas picture.

Antoineth wanting bubbles blown over her mamas picture

They asked if we could take another picture..this time while they blew bubbles around the frame. I smiled as I thought about how this was so Nhora - she was so bubbly and full of fun. I love that her girls know that. I feel blessed that we were able to have them stay with us. Though it was sore in the heart for all of us - it was healing to cry and pray together.

Those of you who pray- please pray for them and dad Tony. They are grieving so much right now. In the culture its expected that they just appear strong. I witnessed quite a few of the neighbours just telling them not to cry now. I pray they will be allowed to start the grieving process.

I feel like I haven't done nearly enough justice to the wonderful person Nhora was. But I just so wanted people to hear of her. I wanted you to know she existed - know she was loved and know how she loved. I wanted people to hear her name and read her legacy of love. I wonder how many others have lived their lives in a squatters area and died without anyone knowing their name. Its a comfort to know this;

"Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his saints" Psalm 116:15

I'm sure of this... so sure.... that the angels were rejoicing when Nhora Mariano arrived at the pearly gates. We miss her so very much... but I see in the eyes of her children and the other children she cared for her great legacy of love - HIS love through her - now in them.It's a privilege to have known her.

"Well done thou good and faithful servant. Enter now into thy rest"

baptism 2009

Leonhora Mariano
Born: October 17 1975

Called home: November 4 2010

Are you a singer....well....em?

2010-11-02T01:23:00.036+08:00

I sat down to write a blog about funny things said in kids church, but I can hear my lovely hubby playing his guitar and singing in the other room and it reminded me of a question I was asked yesterday by an author from New Zealand who came to visit.

" Are you a singer?"

"Well,,, em," I stuttered..."sometimes".

So why on earth did I give such a vague answer?! What does "sometimes" mean anyway?! How ridiculous! lol :)

I used to teach creative arts. Part of my work involved teaching people how to sing and I made a pretty good living from it. I have had the privilege of being involved in worship teams since I was 14. I performed in lots of concerts. I love to sing. It's defiantly part of who God made me. So why on earth was I not sure when I was asked such a simple question?!

Well, we have been working with the beautiful people of Manilas largest dump site and surrounding area for almost 3 years now. Within these 3 years we have breathed in a whole lot of dust and methane gases coming from the burning trash. The notes that I used to sing, are now kind of a croak. Sometimes while Ron and I would be leading worship my voice will completely disappear and fit of coughing would take its place. Frustrating to say the least!

one of the families living in the charcoal making area

I have never really thought of this until tonight.......I wonder how many people who live at the charcoal area at the dump site used to sing?I wonder how many had a beautiful voice before it was stolen by the raging gases that exude from the burning charcoal 24 hours a day? I wonder how many of them have been gifted with talents that they are not able to use because of the horrific surrounding they live in. They still bring a song and so can I. I am blessed.Whether I croak or sing..whether my voice comes out sounding the way I want it to or not.. I will sing because it's the One I'm singing for that really matters.

One of the first songs I ever wrote was this;

I call to my remembrance my song in the night
When I sing that song everythings alright
No matter what I'm feeling
No matter how dark it is
No matter what the circumstance I'll raise my voice
I'll raise my hands and sing sing sing
Lord I sing. I sing. I sing

I sing through the broken times
I choose to sing
By grace the choice is mine to praise
Like a child I come a picture of praise I hold to you
You accept this worship in love.

No matter what the circumstance
No matter what the circumstance
I'll raise my voice
I'll raise my hands and sing sing sing
Lord I sing. I sing. I sing

Have you ever had your child or a child you love run up to you and stretch their arms out to give you a painting or a drawing that they have done? You open it and its a fantastic mess of colorful scribbles? What do you say to them? Usually something along the lines of "Oh that's amazing. Well done. I love it" Why? It's not so much the picture that's important as the one who gave it. They gave it from the heart with love.

I have a wonderful friend with a beautiful voice and an even more beautiful way of bringing music and joy to others. She has given her voice to teaching hundreds of people and inspired them in ways no one else could have. So much so that she has lost her singing voice. But I've watched as she teaches - it doesn't make one bit of difference to her students. They still come in their hundreds because its not really about the singing voice at all. Its about the one singing.

I'm sure that's the way our Father is with us. It's all about our heart. We can have a song in our hearts everyday, even if it doesn't come out sounding exactly angelic!

"I will sing unto the Lord as long as I live: I will sing praise to my God while I have my being" Psalm 104:33

singing their hearts out

http://youtu.be/RwmDPj46k_s

A song for every little broken heart

2010-10-26T02:25:00.002+08:00

It's 2am and this song I wrote a few years back is repeating in my head for some reason. So I am hopeful that once I write it down I will get back to sleep. I pray it touches your heart.

Child you are a mystery

(verse1)

In you there are songs unsung

Notes not yet played

A heart like a canvas where the painting is still to be formed

Wounds not yet healed

Hurts needing mended

And dreams, so many dreams still to come true

(chorus)

Child you are a mystery waiting to be discovered

With a destiny desperate to be realized

A spirit free longing for release

In you a heart waiting to be really known

(verse 2)

In you fears that hold you tight

Grip you sore inside

There's a past that longs to be erased

Tears not yet cried

Prayers still unanswered

And a heartbeat that waits to be cherished

(chorus)

Child you are a mystery waiting to be discovered

With a destiny desperate to be realized

A spirit free longing for release

In you a heart waiting to be really known

(Bridge)

A hand waiting to be held through pain and joy

A heart longing to be one in hope and dreams

Eyes that mirror whats really inside

A smile that gives a strength even in you weakness

(Chorus)

Child you are a mystery waiting to be discovered

With a destiny desperate to be realized

A spirit free longing for release

In you a heart waiting to be really known

A dirty teddy bear and a one peso coin

2010-10-25T00:19:00.001+08:00

What's the point of having a blog?! Isn't it a bit self indulgent to think that people would even bother reading my thoughts and the ramblings of my heart? Well today I found a good reason to continue.

This is Aira Mae. She watched as her father was shot in the head by a gang and killed. I remember Ron and I were working with some youth when it happened right outside the gate. The next day Aira stopped talking for almost 3 months. So much prayer went up for her and we watched as Jesus began to heal her little broken heart. Songs came first - then words- then smiles.

Today was her birthday. She arrived early to kids church to tell us.She held out a teddy bear. It was pretty grotty looking, but I knew it was so precious to her by the way she was holding it and the excitement on her face. She carried it with such care.

"its a gift for you big sister Joanna"

To realise how beautiful this is you need to know what a birthday looks like for our kids here. Basically, its just a another day on the dump site. No gifts, no cake and no party. It's all about survival one day at a time.

Aira Mae was giving something that was precious to her to bless me. It could have been her only teddy. It was her birthday....she was meant to get something, but instead she gave.

one peso coin- worth less than 1p

Sweaty bodies, kids everywhere and volunteers trying to find enough chairs to go around all the kids is the general scene right before kids church. With 300 kids from the age of 1 and above it gets pretty chaotic at times! Today I was teaching the 7 year old group and had 60 in my class. As I was attempting to settle them a boy pulled on my already dusty trousers and looked up at me with big brown eyes.

He reached out his dirty little hand to reveal a 1 peso coin.

" I want to give it"

In all of the busyness of settling the newer kids into the correct classroom he never got the chance to put his coin in the offering basket. I took him by the hand and we went to the main hall where the adults were already settling to listen to the preaching of the word. When we got near, this precious child walked to the front of the church, not put off at all that the room was filled with only grown ups. With a smile he gave his one peso and then came back and took my hand. Joy beamed from his wee face.

What made him do that?

Why didn't he just keep the coin?

Why did it mean so much to him?

Heart check for me!

These two children have lived in flood waters this week because of the typhoon. Their community infested with disease and covered by trash. They have eaten one meal a day or nothing at all everyday this week .But they both came and gave today. They lifted their hands and voices as we all sang together in Praise.They gave in worship....true worship.

These kids touched my heart today. They gave when it was hard. They gave when they didn't have to. They gave when they would not receive anything in return.

Usually I would forget these little treasure story's amidst the craziness of the day! But the Lord used them to speak to, encourage and challenge my heart. I'm thankful.What if I would have forgotten about these two little hero's today? I wonder how many lessons of Gods love I have missed by not writing them down?

I am convinced this is a good enough reason to blog!

"Assuredly , I say to you that this poor widow (*or child from Tondo) has put in more than all those who have given to the treasury; for they all put in out of abundance, but she out of her poverty put in all that she had....." Mark 12:43-44

*italics mine :)

Hmmmm, so where to start?

2010-10-23T02:19:00.000+08:00

So I used to write a lot. I wrote songs. I wrote poems. I wrote down pretty much everything. Since we began full time In Tondo I haven't been writing nearly as much as before. Only recently have I felt a stirring up about this.

The thought of blogging came to me through a group of wonderful people we met within the last month.We were blessed to have an amazing team come to do short term mission with us. They are from the World Race. It's a missions organisation where they will go to 11 countries in 11 months! Hubby and I were blessed to host 2 teams for 3 weeks. They came to serve and help us in the ministry in whatever way was needed - even shoveling poo! (I'm not joking) I could mention lots of wonderful qualities about each one of them - I really could. They were such a blessing to us and the precious people we work with. But if I could sum them up in one sentence it would be.

They simply came to love.

Here they are!

Hubby and I started to read the blogs they were keeping of their everyday experiences ministering alongside us- about the community- the story's of the people-the physicality of the place. I felt like I was seeing the lives of the dumpsite and cemetary families for the first time. Then it hit me -we live this everyday!! Their writings gave me a fresh look at the children, youth and adults that we are honoured to serve. I really felt I was seeing with new eyes. My heart was touched as I read. I was moved, challenged and encouraged. I cried. I laughed.

They got me thinking...... I never want to become used to being around this kind of poverty. I never want to see naked, starving children picking trash on a rat infested dumpsite and think it's"normal". I never want to walk among open tombs where toddlers play and get used to it. I pray for a soft heart. I pray for eyes that would shed tears over the pains of people. People who are "so loved" by our God.

So honestly I really haven't a clue where all this blogging is going or if I will ever do another one. It still feels a bit awkward! But Isn't Jesus so lovely - the way He would take a simple, seemingly insignificant thing (like blogging) to speak personally to the hearts of His children.

So now what? Do I hit "publish post"? Hmmmm, won't that mean people can read my ramblings? That's just a wee bit weird! So how are you supposed to end a blog anyway?

I guess a smiley is always appropriate! :)

Check out the World Race blogs:
http://www.theworldrace.org/?tab=blogs&pteamname=Peace Love Jesus

http://www.theworldrace.org/?tab=blogs&pteamname=Gozo